Fear or Faith

Gigi asked us what were the fears we have that prevent us from living by faith.

At first my mind was blank and I couldn't think of any outstanding fear that I really had (Although I had a brief thought of my friend who has a fear of not getting married. Hehe). Thereafter I thought of a couple.

One would be actually the fear of failure. Actually even though I went ahead to apply for medical school, I was actually quite fearful that I would not get in since I didn't get accepted when I applied for MBBS during the undergraduate admission years ago! However, no point troubling myself over such things so I went ahead. But I guess it's a real fear. What if we have failed before and never dared to try again?

Anyway for those who haven't received the news yet, I'm no longer on the waitlist. Ok la. I recieved an offer letter from Med school liao so I'll be starting in end July =)
May I jump in to give my testimony then. Because at the very start I had told God (and also many others) that it would be a miracle if I got acceptance that year because I handed in my admission exam results so late. So... it's God's miracle brothers and sisters.

Next fear would be the fear of man. Actually being a cell leader really means well... leading people. And I've actually told others before that I don't really know how to be a cell leader (shhh... don't let any of my cell members know this), and I'm also afraid... what if my cellmates think that I'm a bogus leader??? But I really feel very encouraged by how supportive everyone is. Yes thank you very much for all your support =) Thank you for believing in me and because of you I really feel more confident =) Ok anyway, the aftermath of it was that... sometimes satan place (or myself with my poor self-esteem for leadership) such thoughts to one's mind... which really immobilizes myself from stepping into God's purposes. And God's purposes aren't even for just myself. It affects everyone else too. If I don't pour out my life to others, then they wouldn't be able to receive it. I remember someone once said (Shirley? Pastor Janice?) that someone else can take up the role that God has asked us to have. But they will NEVER be able to fulfil it the same way we would have if we have taken it up.

So well. Thank God for the fustrations. But thank you Lord even more for the breakthroughs. I mean. breakthroughs are like... just a relief man =)

Sunday's sermon

I think I was struck, and am still being struck by yesterday's sermon, especially the part where Reverend Ong emphasized that in order for God's blessings to take place, we need to WORK. Perhaps some of us may have overlooked this seemingly small detail but I think it is really important. I remember last year, or perhaps last, last year, some of us were sharing that what we plan sometimes do not come to fruition, that even though we may have prayed very hard for it, things do not happen for us. Maybe that is a sign from God that we have not WORKED hard enough... I like the point that Reverend Ong mentioned, that we need to WORK, or put in other words, to DO SOMETHING FIRST before God can take it from that. Not that God is unable, but I believe God is a nurturing Father rather than a spoon-feeding Father. He wants us to take on responsibility for our own lives. Just imagine if we were to leave everything to God just because He is all-knowing. When the sense of ownership of life is not there, I doubt we will respect ourselves very much, and neither would we respect and love God very much.

Foraging

Hi all. Thanks everyone for the well wishes while I was down with flu! Didn't have that much time to rest though. Cos e policies for h1n1 keep changing. So I need to change change change to keep up too. Phew.
Anyway, wanted to share a mini testimony with everyone! My Prof got me to go with her to this impromptu meeting so I only had my handphone w me n no wallet. Hence no money either. So after the meeting I was wandering around the hospital thinking of whom I could borrow some money for lunch. Tried some frens but couldn't contact them. Gigi who at life conference tried connecting me with her colleague but I couldn't find her. In the end I coincidentally bumped into my ops colleague who had 10 bucks w her. I was amazed as it was like a provision from God! Really thank God and got my food =)
Anyway, just a sideline. It was fri so I wore my polo tee n three quarts pants. Didn't know I'll end up going for a meeting with the directors n all. So pai seh. Hurhur.